Top 3 Tips for Working with Your Spouse
What is it like working with your spouse? We get this question ALL THE TIME.
The truth is, it's complicated.
We wanted to share how we make it work and what we've done to find our flow working together; including our top tips for maintaining your sanity while working alongide your significant other.
Before we jump into it, a quick backstory: We established early on that we both desired a lifestyle that would allow us to be present with each other, while providing flexible with our time and money. We wanted a life beyond a punchclock, working for someone else... As a result, we decided to work for ourselves. But that was a process. It began with Alisha to starting a business in 2012 and, eventually, she'd recruit Maurice away from Apple (his employer at the time) in 2017. Of course, that meant we had to learn to work together. That is what we'll be sharing here: How we have been able to navigate working together as a couple, for roughly 10 years and across multiple businesses. We love what John Krasinski had to say about working with his wife Emily Blunt "For me, it was a trust thing. We trust each other in day-to-day life for sure, but when you trust each other in this way it's different." -- and we couldn't agree more!
Identify Each Person's Strong Suit
When going into self employment, or any type of work environment where you will be asked to work collaboratively, identifying where each person excels is a good place to start. For example, Maurice is very detail oriented. He is so much so, that it isn't surprising that he struggles with perfectionism. Whereas Alisha is a "messy action" person, so much so, that she can get herself into situations that she shouldn't be in. Knowing each of our strengths, and weaknesses as a result, allows us to approriately divy up the work: On any given project, Alisha focuses on big picture visionary work on, while Maurice dives deep into the details of executing each piece. This does not mean Alisha ONLY focuses on big picture and Maurice ONLY focues on finite details, but it is a clearly defined primary role deliniation.
Ultimately, we believe we work well together, not because our strength's are the same, but because they are complimentary. For more on why complementary strenghts are mportant, check out this article from The Gallup Management Journal. It may be over 10 years old, but its point is still just as relevant today.
Work on Projects Separately
Having clear role delineation for each of our responsibilities has eased tension in our household. We've had to work at it, but there are now clearly defined lines for task completion and when it should change hands from one person to the next. There is just the two of us and, as result, the likelihood of stepping on each others' toes is increased. When it occurs, it has a tendency to create friction. Having gone through our fair share of conflict, we have learned to lean into the strenghts mentioned earlier, trust that the other is going to do their best, and that they will hand the project over once they've gone as far as they can with it. When we take on a new project, we know that Maurice will take care of all the design, copy, systems/technology associated with it; whereas, Alisha will focus on project development, external communications, and overall vision.
Separate Spouse from Coworker (don't take things personally)
It is very easy to carry the dishes that weren't done from last night's dinner into the conversation about today's deadline. Don't do it. Keeping what happens in the personal aspects of our lives separate from the professional work we do has been vital to keeping both parts of our relationship healthy. This is no different than any other work setting, so we keep the boundaries firm, especially when it comes to how we communicate with each other. If we happen to struggle with coming to an agreement on a professional manner, we don't hold it against one another at the dinner table. When we need to have hard conversations with each other, we always know whether its a CEO talking to her VP or a husband talking to his wife.
If strenghts are identified and complimentary, role dileniation is clear, and boundaries are firm, working with your spouse can be one of the most rewarding experiences. Seeing one another thrive in our respective areas and celebrating our successes together has added joy and fulfillment to our lives. As a result of us working together, we've been able to travel to amazing places, excel with large opportunities, and spend a tremendous amount of time with each other. Though we know its not for everyone, we have found a way to make it one of the most rewarding parts or our relationship.
